Navigating the Spiral: Repeated Opportunities for Deeper Learning
Nov 17, 2021
By Dr Shuna Marr
A couple of months ago something happened that revealed a repeating pattern of mine
- a trigger I had about tradesmen who changed the goalposts in the middle of the job and tried to get more money.
In the situation that happened in August, when my architect retrospectively tried to add new charges, I was initially triggered by it and got upset before I recognised the repeating pattern. I recognised that this was something that had spiralled round again and again in my life, giving me an opportunity to heal a wound.
What was the wound?...
Well, twenty years ago, I was manipulated, and my wishes ignored, by a landscape gardener who did not stick to any of the agreed plans. I ended up paying thousands for something I hated for 2 decades afterwards, because I was too fearful to stand up to him.
I felt a complete victim in this situation and it upset me and got me angry every time I thought about it. This was me carrying an emotional wound.
As the years went by, similar situations spiralled round:
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The tiler who asked for more money after the job was completed.
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The bedroom furniture fitter who wouldn’t fit the plinths that were part of the package.
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The builder who changed the price from what was agreed.
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Again and again, until most recently the architect who retrospectively tried to apply fees.
And each time my reaction to it became more empowered.
In the first experience, I’d been completely disempowered by the experience. I didn’t stand up for myself at all. I just capitulated.
Did you know that, once we have received a wound like this, the universe brings round similar opportunities, again and again, for us to learn the lesson we didn’t get the first time?
(well, it does - that is why we learn in spirals - each time we see it from a higher perspective.).
But until a few years ago, I didn't know about the spiral nature of our learning - so I didn’t recognise the pattern and I just thought I was unlucky.
My reaction in those earlier spirals saw me usually fighting or running away
The typical 'fight or flight' response to trauma.
In later spirals in this pattern, I began to stand up for myself. Yes, I initially got triggered and upset - but after a while, I managed to negotiate it.
The August spiral saw me finally see this pattern for what it was and I recognised its root. It was time to heal it. So, I used all my tools and learning to handle it in an empowered way. However, it was only retrospectively that I recognised it.
Last week this pattern turned up yet again - and here was the difference
I was actually consciously aware of this pattern happening in the moment it happened - and I didn’t get triggered. There was no heightened emotion. I could see this from the 'surefooted pathfinder' perspective. I shifted into an engaged but neutral observer.
I spoke calmly. I could see the chap getting agitated and triggered. I could see how he was trying to escalate the situation and was getting caught up in the drama.
I felt compassion for him being in that situation. I could see his point of view. There was no 'fear of confrontation', which had previously made me run away.
I stood in my power
I actually asked him to pause and take a breath.
My inner objective observer could see clearly what was happening and I felt empowered and calm - it wasn’t a ‘me and him’ situation but seeing him as a reflection of me and seeing myself in this mirror in how far I’d come.
I de-escalated the situation and we ended the conversation amicably with a reasonable compromise. I walked away feeling really empowered by the whole exchange.
However, I wondered why I was still attracting this situation to me?
A card reading suggested I still had some cords of attachment to this situation that I was now ready to let go of.
My dowsing pendulum told me I had two cords of attachment to this situation.
I used a dowsing protocol to release the energetic cords.
As I energetically changed this on the inside, my outer world reflected this change as the situation just dissipated and disappeared.
This is one of the really useful things dowsing is good for. Quickly shifting energetic patterns through intention.
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