Are you Listening to Echoes? Exploring Inner Dialogues
Jun 17, 2023By Dr Shuna Marr
I’ve spent the last couple of hours colouring in mandalas with my new fine tipped pens. And boy has my ego mind been doing a number on me.
I’ve been reminded I have emails to send and blog posts to write.
That I have any manner of things in my business to attend to.
I should be going for a walk, doing the garden, sewing the new canopy for the garden swing.
I could be doing some knitting or maybe I ought to go and read that book for the book club.
Or even watch a film.
My mind has been totally resistant to me giving a couple of hours to just colouring in. It seems it wants me to do anything than just sit and colour in a mandala.
I can hear echoes in this voice in my head.
I can identify conditioning by my parents and schooling to be a ‘productive member of society’.
I can hear echoes of my mum telling me not to waste my time and go and do something useful.
I can hear my dad telling me to
“do what you have to do before you do what you want to do”.
I can feel those fears of chastisement and see that I’m still carrying echoes of those old beliefs that my safety lay in doing and my worth was in my productivity.
They rise to the surface like bubbles popping up through the gloop.
I just been watching them rise with curiosity - being aware with the compassion of the objective observer how these stories still can roll round my head.
I recognise that they are trying to protect me from some perceived harm.
But my mum and dad are no longer here to scold me. I am my own boss and it’s a quiet day with no real pressure to do anything.
So I’m sending love to that part of myself that’s trying to rescue me from the awful fate where I’ll be judged or punished.
I’m reassuring it that all is well.
That it’s okay to rest.
That rest is essential.
And that sitting with the sun streaming through the window, while I quietly colour in mandalas, is perfectly safe.
Love
PS What's the voice saying in your head? And are you reacting to it or just observing?
The best tool in my toolbox to understand and make peace with this chattering voice in your head is The Heart Space Room. Find out more about it here.
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